As I have been looking at the Taylor Alumni, I started thinking back
to college days. The late nights, the Taco-Bell runs, the coffee, the
fights, the gossip, and of course the GUYS....
I had a lot of great memories from that time in my life. I meet a
lot of wonderful people and some life long friends. That I thank God
for daily. It was Taylor that I started finding myself.. Figuring out
who I was and what I wanted in my life.
I left Taylor behind me, a long with a lot of my friends. I
disappeared from sight. Mainly for my own selfish reasons. I had a lot
of confussion going on in my life. I had an identity crisis. I had no
idea who I was. I was stuck between being an adult and child. I think
we all were. Each of us had to figure out what WE wanted for our lives.
Where WE wanted to go.. and Who We wanted to be.
I had died at Taylor. That child I was when I entered those doors in
2000. I had graduated from high school, and was told it was time to
become an adult. I need to decided what I wanted to do with my life.
Choose a career. But I didn't know what I wanted. I just wanted to be a
kid for a little while longer. I didn't want to be thrown into the
world just yet. I had no Idea what I wanted to do. I knew that I liked
people. I liked helping them. Taking care of others. Trying to protect
everyone.... I tried so hard to please others. To do what they wanted
me to.
The summer after my freshman year, I stayed at Taylor and became an
RA for the next and last Samuel Morris Scholarship group. Here I was
just 19 and having to care for 30 some kids. Who were some what older
than me. But I had to be the one in charge. No one else took the steps
to do that. I had to keep track of them. Make sure no one got hurt. I
had to be a "bitch" in some cases, when in truth all I wanted to do was
hang out.. get to know them.. see who they were.. but I couldn't and
that caused me to become an out-cast. They looked at me different. But
I had to do my job. I think it was then that I realized I had to be an
adult.
After that summer, when it was my sophmore year. I forgot all about
that summer. I wanted them to see me. Who I was.. Not some controlling
person, but a student just like them. but it was too late.
As I continued in my search for myself, but I felt as though I was
loosing my idenity. After a hard break-up I was ectreemly lost and I
couldn't face Taylor, my family, or friends. I ran away. I never
thought I would say that, but it's true. I took the easy way out, or I
thought i was going to be.
During my journey to find myself, I found a wonderful man. At the
time I was not ready to be with anyone nor was he avaible. We stayed
friends, as I continued along. Crying out to God for direction. Hoping
for some purpose in my life. I loved working with the special needs. I
enjoyed the youthful ways.
I found myself late one night, when I realized I need NO ONE to make
me happy. That I was "normal".. well as normal as God had made me. And
it was in my silent state that I heard God's voice so clear. That He
had a purpose for my life. That He had a man set aside for me. That I
was going to be ok.
After I broke up with my current boyfriend, I started talking to my
friend, (that wonderful man). We talked about everything. From
politics, to dreams, to futures, and the most important GOD. We had the
same views on almost everything. A few differences, but nothing major.
Our relationship started "fast" as most people saw it, but for us it
was jsut right on track. Due to the distance between us, we had a phone
relationship. But it gave us a chance to get to know each other. On a
mental level.
I was started to move back to Ft Wayne, when I realized I didn't
want to be away from him. (my wonderful man).. So we talked mostly
about our future and where we saw us going. Before I knew it I was
living with him and planning for our future.
He got an offer to work in Austin, tx and he wanted me to come with
him. I was very afraid to move that far away from everyone I knew. Yet,
in my heart I knew he was the only one I wanted to be with. So off to
Tx we both went.
We had planned for our Wedding date to be March 17, 2006 in Las
Vegas. Those planes where changed when we found out we had a little
surprise on the way. We got married in Nov. 2005. The best date ever.
For it was then that I married my best friend and the one who made me
feel so special. Even in crowded room, He made me feel like I was the
only one there.
In March 2006 we celebrated our union with family and friends back
in Cincinnati. I was five months along and was so happy to show off the
second photos of my little girl.
Our lives took a lot of turns and things changed a lot, but we are
so happy. Our blessing as born on July 17, 2006. The second best day of
my life. I was a mother and a wife. I felt a purpose. I knew this is
what God had intended for me.
I may not work in the "world", but I think I have the best job ever.
It has it's hard days, and nights. I don't get time off, or payed with
money. But the joy and the feelings I have when I look at the two
people who I love so much in the world, is worth all the money I could
ever get paid. I have the joy and responsibility of raising a behaved
citizen and a Godly woman.
I am TRULY BLESSED!
for those who read this, I decided to be honset and straight forward
about my life. This is me. All the bad, and hardships and the most
wonderful GOOD has helped mold me into who I am. | 
